Reality TV

I'm a reality TV junkie. If it's real, I'm watching it. If there was a show that showed cows chewing cud, I'd watch it. I use to watch Meerkat Manor until a baby Meerkat was taken off by a big mean owl. I heard it crying and knew where it was headed and as I sat there with my heart in my throat, fighting back tears, I swore to never watch the Meerkats again. It was the same feeling I got when I saw the last scene in that movie "Jeepers Creepers". **shakes with the heebie jeebies**

We don't watch quality reality tv. There is no "Dancing With the Stars" or "The Apprentice" being recorded up in here. Although that juicy fight between Joan Rivers and the trashy poker player peaked our interest briefly. Aside from Bob's unnatural obsession with American Idol, we like our reality tv trashy.

Last night after "Keeping Up With the Kardashians", a show called "The Jersey Shore, Unleashed" came on. Being a southern girl, New Jersey people fascinate me. All the men are oily bohunks named "Antny" and all the girls have long french nails, dark tans and chew gum. They also seem to really like to party, and are not at all discriminate about who they party with. Everyone hooks up in Jersey apparently. Who knew?

Bob and I also really enjoy watching "Pretty Wicked". This show is about a bunch of girls who think they are something special but really don't seem to have that much to offer in the looks department. I'm not sure what the criteria was for casting on "Pretty Wicked", but it's reality tv. So I'm watchin' it.

"Pretty Wicked" took the time slot that was previously taken by a show that we LOVED called "The Bad Girls Club". If you've never seen this show, it's about a gaggle of mean girls who live together in a mansion, fight like tigers and then go out and get their "freak on" with random men. They also cannot get a slurpee at Stop and Go without getting into a hair pulling, shoe throwing fight. The "Pretty Wicked" girls fight, but not like "The Bad Girls Club". Those beyotches are ruthless, they don't walk away without a handful of hair extensions. All the girls in both shows are whores though. Make noooo mistake. Those chicks are slut-tay.

*Bridezillas? YES

*The Anna Nicole show? Oh hell yes

*True Housewives of Orange County? Never miss an episode. I don't like those New York chicks or Atlanta. But they're headed to Jersey, so that's a keeper.

*Engaged and Underage? Are you kidding me? Teenagers who think they are ready for marriage? What's not to like?

*Jon and Kate plus 8? Where else can I learn how NOT to treat my husband, and how NOT to get my hair done?

*My Big Redneck Wedding? I actually got confused once watching this because I thought that the kids had put a tape of one of our family weddings in there. It wasn't until the commercial came on that I realized it was a TV show.

*My Super Sweet Sixteen? Brats with money? Nothing gives you that warm fuzzy feeling like seeing a 16 yr old cuss her mother out for not buying her a BMW instead of a Range Rover.

*Sunset tan? Oh come on, who doesn't watch Sunset Tan? Is Nick gay? Does he really think that Anya is pretty? What about Dr. 90210? Does Dr. Rey really not see how ridiculous he looks? Really?

But my all time favorite reality tv show, the reason I don't hibernate in the summer to avoid the heat? Big Brother baby. It comes on three times a week, it's on for 4 hours every night, and it's AWESOME. The fighting, the yelling, it cannot be matched. I have to wait until after the 4th of July to see it. So until then I have plenty to do. There's always somebody throwing shoes, pulling hair, cussing their mom, or pretending they didn't do what it looked like they were doing under the covers on night vision.